Allegiance, Happiness and Trust
by Tearlit
Summary: Lily and James struggle to keep their relationship together and their lives intact in the midst of the first war.


Disclaimer – I own nothing, it all belongs to JKR.

A/N – Thanks to NctrnlBst for inspiration and ideas! This was written for a contest on the Final Prophecy where we were supposed to write about a character's life before the Harry Potter series. I won second place! Also, many many thanks to my fantastic beta Mojomig, who pointed out countless errors in this. Also…make my day….review!

* * *

In the cold, gray streets of a dreary London suburb, an ancient apartment building stood, appearing to be the victim of harsh brutality. The bricks were cracked, roof shingles curled up from decades of being exposed to the harsh elements, and shutters with peeling paint drooped at awkward angles. Even with the exterior in such a state of disrepair, the people on the inside were snug and warm. Out from one of the ground floor windows, a lovely young woman stared thoughtfully, her mind a whirlwind of confusion.

"Life never works out the way we imagine, does it?" Lily remarked absently as she moved away from the window, pulling the curtain tightly shut. She leaned back against the wall, arms crossed tightly over her stomach.

"What do you mean, Lily?" the man sitting on the couch asked.

"If someone had told me while we were still at school that I would marry James Potter and become so close to you, I would have laughed in their face… or called them mental." Lily pushed away from the wall and began to walk aimlessly around Sirius' flat, picking up pictures and books, looking at them and putting them back down. She did this every time she came to stay; this off the wall questioning, the wandering around with no purpose. It drove Sirius crazy, but he never told her that.

"I hate this!" she exclaimed suddenly, causing Sirius to jump and spill his butterbeer on the dark blue sofa.

"What?" he asked absentmindedly, balancing the bottle precariously on his knee, while rubbing idly at the stain with one sleeve and reaching for his wand with the other hand.

"The waiting," she said softly. "The waiting and the not knowing. I wish I could have gone with him." Lily sank onto the sofa next to her husband's best friend, watching as Sirius shot steam out of his wand tip to dry the spill. "Why does he insist on going alone so much?" she asked seriously. She placed her hand on his arm, causing him to look up so she could look him in the eye.

He thought for a moment, then replied, "James cares abut you. He's afraid if you go something will happen to you and he would never forgive himself for that. If I go along then who will watch you?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't need watching!"

"Fine, keep you company then. Remus is busy with his pursuits with the Werewolves and Peter…well he's always off on one mission or another," Sirius finished, shrugging his shoulders.

The young woman sighed and leaned over, putting her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I know I must annoy you terribly."

"No," he lied smoothly. "Not at all." He leaned over and put his arm around her. "James will come back, Lily. He will."

She looked up with tears in her eyes. "When will this end?"

Sirius sighed softly, pulled her close and kissed the top of her head gently, "I don't know, love, I don't know."

"If I only knew if he was safe…he's been gone for two weeks already and we've heard nothing from him. James has never been away that long with no word before."

"He told you. He told us all, Lily, that he wouldn't be able to send or receive post."

"I can't help but feel he's punishing me…"

"What?" Sirius asked, genuinely confused by the sudden change in topic.

"He's been so…unlike himself lately. Sometimes I'll catch him looking at me and in his eyes…there's such contempt there, almost hatred. I have no idea what I've done to warrant such looks. When I ask about it he brushes me off. Though at the same time he's so protective of me. I thought I'd proven that I can handle myself in combat situations."

"He loves you, Lil, and besides, you were almost killed last time you were in a battle," Sirius replied. _"And of course the fact that your husband thinks you're a Death Eater has nothing at all to do with anything," _he added silently in his head.

She shuddered at the haunting memory. "Voldemort was there, Sirius, right in front of me. We escaped from Voldemort himself. He's like...something out of muggle stories adults use to frighten children at Halloween."

"That's what we're fighting for," Sirius said suddenly.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"We're fighting so that one day all he'll be is some character in a story to frighten children."

She smiled at him then, brushing the tears from her cheeks. "You put everything into perspective."

Lily stood up and moved back to the window, pulling the heavy brown curtain back and gazing into the sky, watching for owls.

Sirius moved into the small kitchen and poured himself a measure of Firewhiskey. As he made his way back to the sofa his eyes rested upon the old carriage clock that sat on the fireplace mantle. Noting that it was past midnight, he spoke quietly, so as not to startle the witch who still gazed in earnest out the window.

"Why don't you go to bed? You've been looking so tired lately."

"I may in a while. I haven't been sleeping very well."

"Why not?" Sirius enquired.

"Oh, I'm just having odd dreams again. They come and go," she said, flopping down on the sofa and curling up around a throw pillow.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Sirius offered.

"They're just dreams. I go months without dreaming a thing, and then I suddenly have them every night for weeks. Then they go away again. A lot of times I don't remember them, but I can still tell I've had them because I wake tired and agitated. Though when I do remember them they are so real I have to check to see that they didn't come true…"

"What is your latest dream about?"

"I've been having two lately, although one of the two stopped a couple weeks ago. That one was a bit creepy."

"How so?" he asked.

"There was this storm. The wind was gusting so hard it was near to blowing everyone over. The Order was there and we were fighting the Death Eaters. I struggled to reach James but things kept blowing in my path and people repeatedly jumped in the way. We were screaming for each other and dodging hexes and flying debris. He grew quiet and I panicked. Finally I reached him…" she grew quiet then.

"What happened?" he whispered, totally enthralled in the story.

"He looked at me…and turned and walked away."

"That is a bit odd…but why is it creepy?"

"Do you remember the night the Order battled Death Eaters in Hogsmeade?"

"Yes, I wasn't there but James told me in detail."

"There was wind, Sirius, gusting so hard it nearly blew us over. Debris was flying everywhere and James and I became separated. James was nearly crushed by a beam that fell from the porch of one of the shops. He's really lucky that the way it pinned him didn't cause internal damage. Anyway, we were yelling to each other, but when that fell on him he grew quiet and I panicked. Now ever since the battle James has been so distant…in a sense he has walked away from me. I find it odd that the dream was so similar; I just can't explain it. Also, I'm wondering if the reason he's distant is because I almost died…if he's afraid to lose me, so he's distancing himself so it won't hurt as bad when he does."

"I don't know. I'll talk to him if you want."

She nodded. "Thanks, Sirius."

"What's the other dream?"

"I'm at home and it's night. I'm hurt and the house is burning; I'm trapped inside and I hear people yelling my name but I can't get to them or get out or even let them know I'm OK. The flames begin to lick at my skin and I wake up."

"That's intense. Well, James doesn't leave you alone enough to get trapped in a burning building, so I think you're safe there," he said, smiling. "The similarity of the first dream to the battle was just that…a similarity. They are just dreams, Lily. Now go try and get some sleep, all right?"

She kissed him on the cheek and stood up, "All right, wake me if there's word. "Goodnight, Sirius."

"Goodnight."

The dark haired man watched her vanish through the doorway to the spare bedroom. She always came to stay when James was on a mission. Once it was because James was afraid that they would find her when she was alone, that she wouldn't be able to get away. Now it was because he was afraid of where she would go if left without supervision.

"Stupid git," Sirius muttered. "I wish he would just go to Dumbledore and get this all straightened out."

The wizard lay back on the sofa and sighed contentedly, sleep was just coming to claim him when there came a scratching at the door. Sirius grabbed his wand and crouched at the doorframe; suddenly there came a soft low whistle. It was quickly returned and the excited young man jumped up, pulling the door open.

"James!" he cried out, grabbing the tired, disheveled man in a hug.

"Shhh! Don't yell, Padfoot. Where's Lily?" James whispered, slipping inside and bolting the door.

"She's asleep. I'm supposed to wake her if there's word and well…I guess you count as word," Sirius said, grinning and moving toward the door.

"No," James said in a tone that did not suggest arguing.

"James…she's not, OK?" Sirius said, pushing his hair back from his face.

James pointed his wand at the closed door behind which Lily slept and muttered something. It glowed purple; the tired man nodded at it and settled down on the sofa, shaking his head.

"I went to Dumbledore," he said, letting out a long sigh.

"It took you long enough," Sirius grumbled.

"I was afraid, Sirius. Even though she's a Death Eater I still love her. The Aurors are getting more and more ruthless. Capture seems to be a last resort these days. I don't want to see her dead or in chains," James said quietly, his head in his hands.

"What did Dumbledore say?" Sirius asked, moving to stand in front of him.

"I told him how I saw Voldemort corner her and disarm her. How there was no one near them, then suddenly she had her wand back and he was sweeping off down the street. He agreed it was a bit fishy but he trusts her. Dumbledore told me to continue keeping someone with her for now, for her safety as well as our own. He's looking into it."

"But he believes she's truly on our side?"

"He does."

"Then that should be enough for you, James. Lily is innocent."

"Someone is giving us up, Sirius. If not her then who?"

"It could be anyone!"

"It has to be someone very close to us. It's neither you nor me. Peter is too innocent, and anyway he's gone too much. Remus wouldn't."

"So that leaves Lily? Why are you so eager to blame your wife?" Sirius snarled.

"I'd rather think my wife hoodwinked me than to think that one of my brothers betrayed me! I have evidence, Sirius. Evidence that she is a traitor."

"What evidence, James? All you've told me is she escaped Voldemort. You should be happy she didn't die, not punishing her for surviving."

"They knew, Sirius. The Death Eaters knew we were coming to destroy the Inferi," James said wearily, placing a slightly trembling hand to his forehead.

"That doesn't mean it was her who told them. When would she have been able to, anyway?" Sirius asked, pacing around just as much as Lily had earlier in the evening. He was staring resolutely at the carpet and failed to notice when the bedroom door ceased its glowing.

"She told them!" James yelled, leaping to his feet. "Don't try to defend her. The day before I left she disappeared for _three hours_. Lily said she was shopping but there weren't nearly enough packages for her to have been gone that long. She disappears and then our mission is compromised…again. This is the third one in a row, Sirius." The agitated wizard sank back down. "The third one."

Sirius watched him closely for a moment. "There's more to it than her disappearing and surviving."

James nodded. "We had to fight them and…I didn't see the face because those horrid masks stayed on, but one of the hoods fell off of a Death Eater that was dueling with Gideon. Red hair. Long thick dark red hair that fell halfway down the woman's back."

"Lots of people have red hair, James," Sirius said wearily, with an air of one who has been long suffering.

"Not like Lily's. It was her height and, best as I could tell, her build. The figure didn't move quite like her, but that could be part of the act. How could I have been so blind, Padfoot?"

"Prongs, she's been so worried about you; it's causing her to have nightmares even. If you can't trust your wife then go back to Dumbledore and get some Veritaserum or something so we can finish this," Sirius pleaded.

James stood and faced the man who had been like a brother to him for years. "What, go to Dumbledore and tell him "Hello, I'm sorry to bother you so late but I need Veritaserum to finish an argument that Sirius and I have been having. He disagrees with the fact that I seem to have married a Death Eater and a spy who's going to get us all killed and is betraying our plans right and left and…"

"And she's standing right behind you…." Sirius interrupted, paling visibly as he grabbed his wand and retreated from the look of utter fury that contorted Lily's usually lovely face.

She advanced on James, wand pointed at his chest. Her eyes were glowing with a violent fury and her face was twisted into an almost bestial mask.

"So that's what you think!" the hostile witch screamed. "That's why you've been distant with me for weeks! I suppose the fact that I love you never factored in. I suppose you think my worry is merely an act! Is that why you refused to have post? To find any sort of way to let me know you were alive? Afraid I would give you over to Voldemort? I can't believe you, James Potter! I thought you knew me better than that!"

She waved her wand furiously, causing James to yelp with pain as he failed to dodge her hexes quickly enough. Sirius, meanwhile, took cover under the kitchen table.

"Lily, I…" James started.

"Yes, your missions have been compromised lately but so have EVERYONE'S! YOU aren't the ONLY one who is being attacked! Even if I were a Death Eater why would I try to kill my husband? Wouldn't I just try to convert you? Or _Imperius_ you? For your information, when I was gone for three hours it was because I was visiting Petunia, trying to make things up with her. I didn't tell you because you hate her!"

"Lily…" James said again, yelping as she caught him with yet another stinging hex. He ran towards Sirius, intending to take cover there, but was repelled back and knocked into the cabinet.

"My table!" Sirius said indignantly. "Find your own cover from your pissed off wife!"

"You thought I was a Death Eater because I SURVIVED? I don't know how I managed it but it was NOT because of that and you of all people should be HAPPY I am alive. BUT ARE YOU? NO, NO YOU ARE NOT!" Lily finished with a shriek. "Oh, I married a Death Eater," she said, mimicking him in a shrill tone, "Is that the only conclusion you came up with for me NOT being DEAD? Oh I always knew you were a dim halfwit but I thought you'd outgrown it. STUPID ME!" Lily raged, stomping around and firing hexes at the sofa, behind which James was now cowering.

Sirius whimpered and reached a hand out to the beloved sofa that was taking the toll for James' stupidity.

"And oooh one of the Death Eaters had red hair, well LAST TIME I CHECKED LOADS OF BLOODY PEOPLE HAVE RED HAIR!"

James shrieked and jumped back into view as brilliant pink flames enveloped the sofa.

"B-but…" he stammered.

"But WHAT?" She said, her face so red both of the men fully expected to see smoke pour out of her ears at any second.

"Keep your mouth shut, Prongs!" Sirius yelled, hoping his sofa could be saved if she ran out of steam soon.

"If…if you were a Death Eater you'd be saying all these things," James said meekly.

Sirius groaned and slumped back under the table, saying a silent goodbye to his beloved sofa.

"IF I WERE A DEATH EATER I'D KILL YOU TO SPARE THE REST OF THE WORLD HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR STUPIDITY!" she screamed.

Lily seemed to deflate then and sank to the ground, burying her face in her hands. Sirius watched the lovely comfy sofa as it burned merrily and decided it was time to abandon the table in favor of damage control. A spray of water was sent flying at the sofa, quickly vanquishing the flames. Then he sank down and wrapped an arm around Lily, looking up at James.

"_This is your place_," he said silently, using his eyes and body language to convey the message. James looked down dejectedly and turned his back on the pair.

"Lil?" Sirius asked softly. The distraught woman turned and buried her face in his chest.

"How could he think…but I'm not…you know I'm not…" she murmured. He stroked her hair gently and she looked up at him with haunted eyes. "Please, Sirius…"

"I believe you, Lily. I never doubted your loyalty."

"Then how," she gasped, voice cracking, "how could he?"

"I don't know. If I get some Veritaserum would you take it?"

"Yes."

"All right, I'll be back soon. Can you two refrain from killing each other or causing further damage to my possessions?" he asked icily, making sure they each nodded before sweeping out the door and vanishing with a crack.

Lily looked up and saw her husband watching her; standing on shaky legs she walked slowly toward him and, reaching out a hand, murmured, "James?" He jerked away from her and spun around.

"Don't," he hissed.

"James, please!" she begged, grabbing his arm. He flung off her hand and turned to glare at her, face full of the menace she had seen come and go over the last few weeks. With a sob she turned and retreated to the kitchen.

When Sirius returned several minutes later it was to find both of them at opposite sides of the room. A quick dose of Veritaserum proved Lily's innocence. However, James remained livid, now because his wife was innocent and he had accused her of the worst thing imaginable. Lily reached for him again and once more he pulled away violently, this time screaming, "Don't touch me!"

Sobbing, she ran from the room and locked herself in the spare bedroom that was as good as hers. Sirius watched as James sank onto what was formerly the best sofa in the world, but was now reduced to a soggy blackened mess.

"She hates me, doesn't she, Padfoot?"

"Well you most definitely aren't her favorite person right now, Prongs. She's really devastated by this…it truly is a whole new level of betrayal, you know."

James beat his head again the sofa table repeatedly, before groaning, "What am I going to do? She'll never forgive me for this…I don't _deserve_ forgiveness for this. Though I should at least ask for it."

"If you think you can without getting something hexed off; if I were you I'd get in there and start groveling right away," Sirius said with a sarcastic air.

"Thank you, Sirius," James said seriously.

"For what?"

"Sticking by my wife when I was being too much of an idiot to do so myself."

"You're welcome."

James stood, made his way to the bedroom door and knocked, being not at all surprised when there was no answer. Finding the door locked, he performed a few spells before it finally swung open. The wary man proceeded in, closing the door behind him.

"Come to make sure I'm not off chumming around with Death Eaters?" his wife asked, sounding very much as if she had a bad head cold.

"No. Lily…I am…so…sorry."

She sat up and stared at him. "How could you, James?"

He shook his head, "I don't know I just…jumped to the worst possible conclusion. I was lying there; pinned down by that stupid beam and I saw him disarm you, saw you lying on the ground. I screamed your name and fought even harder but I knew that it was over…that you were going to die. I knew then that I would never again get the chance to see you smile at me, to hold you, to tell you just how much you meant to me... A pair of fighters blocked my view and then suddenly you were there beside me, levitating the beam away and giving me my wand back. I couldn't understand it. I was overjoyed then…but also afraid."

"So instead of asking me about it you formulated the theory of 'my wife is a Death Eater'?" Lily asked waspishly.

"Um…yeah, pretty much. Dumbledore didn't agree with me, though," he said brightly, hoping this news would cheer her slightly.

"You told Dumbledore you thought I was a traitor?" Lily said, voice steadily rising to what would soon be a deafening pitch.

"Yes," he gulped. "He said he was inclined to disagree but I should keep people with you at all times for your safety as well as our own."

"I think you need to leave now, James."

"Lil…" he whispered, reaching a hand to her. "I'm sorry…I've been an unbelievable ass but I'm sorry. I believe you now."

"I cannot disagree with that statement, but the only reason you believe me is because I took truth serum. What does that say about the level of trust you have where I am concerned? Please, James, if you care about me at all, please go."

He walked out and shut the bedroom door behind him, leaving her alone with her thoughts. He passed Sirius, who was trying to repair his sofa, and swept out into the night and back to his lonely house.

* * *

To James' dismay, Lily neither forgave nor forgot. He returned home from work the day after the 'Fiasco', as Sirius had decided to call it, to find the bulk of her things had been removed from the house. He rushed to Sirius' to find that she had gone to stay with Remus.

"She said you were here too much, mate. Remus had a spare bedroom so she went to stay with him for a while. Give her time; she'll come round," Sirius said.

However the weeks passed by and come around she did not. James took to staying with Sirius, much preferring his company to the empty house. Every room there reminded him of Lily. At Order meetings they sat as far apart as possible, and everyone pretended not to notice. Dumbledore spoke privately with Lily and the Marauders, telling them that he received intelligence that Voldemort was quite interested in adding Lily to his ranks, though he was still unsure why exactly this was. It was decided that Lily was to still have someone with her at all times because it was agreed by all that if Voldemort captured her it would be disastrous.

James gave Lily her space at first, but soon grew tired of their separation. He decided that the time had come for action. The persistent wizard went daily to Remus' house to visit her. He took her flowers; she charmed her book to beat him round the head. He brought her sweets; she threw Bulbadox Powder on him. He followed her from room to room singing love songs; she hexed him so his tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth. He snuck in extra early and cooked her breakfast; she caused the frying pan to chase him from the house. He knitted her a jumper; she tried to strangle him with it.

Finally he grew tired of aching, itching, running from heavy flying objects, being unable to speak and having difficulty breathing. Thus James marched into her room one day, grabbed the woman he loved, and kissed her soundly. She slapped him so hard he swore later that he saw stars.

"Lily I was unbelievably horrible to you but I'm sorry! I don't know what to do to convince you how sorry I am. I should have trusted and believed you and I didn't. I made a mistake. Please forgive me. I miss you, so much in fact that I'm willing to accept personal injury just so I can be near you and hear your voice for a few moments. Please believe me that I love you and I'm going crazy without you. Come home, Lily, please, just come home."

She stared at him a moment and he realized her eyes were swimming with tears. "I love you too, James." She took a hesitant step toward him and reached out her hand. He grabbed it and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her.

He sighed contentedly and murmured, "God, I've missed holding you."

She snuggled close, "I've missed being held by you."

"Are we better, Lil?" he asked hopefully.

"Not completely, but we will be with time I think."

"I can live with that. Come home with me?"

"Yes," she replied, smiling.

James let out a whoop and yanked the door open so he could go tell Remus, Sirius and Peter. However, he didn't need to go far. As soon as he pulled it open the three men in question toppled in and fell at their feet, grinning.

Lily sighed and began to pack her things as the four men rolled around on the ground, wrestling like children.

"Yes, things certainly are getting back to normal," she muttered.

* * *

Lily's eyes shot open and she grabbed for her wand. She wasn't exactly sure what woke her, but she knew better than to not trust her instincts, which were now telling her to have her wand in hand. She got out of bed quietly and, pulling on her dressing gown, moved quietly to the bedroom door. She pulled it open just wide enough to peer out of and waited, for what she did not know. Finally, what seemed hours later, it came; the swish of a cloak. She watched, terrified, as a tall hooded figured glided through the sitting room. "_Where is Remus?" _she thought to herself. The man in question was staying with her while James and Sirius were on a mission. She began to inch backwards slowly; if only she could manage to climb out the window she could get to the edge of the property and Disapparate to safety.

Suddenly a high cold voice echoed through the doorway and Lily's heart began to pound in her chest as the door swung fully open and the tall form of Lord Voldemort appeared before her.

"Good evening, Mrs. Potter." Lily made to run, but found that she was unable to move, frozen in place by a very quick nonverbal spell. "You are an interesting creature. Once where I saw only an annoyance to be squashed, now I see talents to be explored. You could be quite useful to me, Mrs. Potter."

"I'm no more useful than any other witch," she whispered, eyes darting frantically around the room.

"Oh, but you are. You are quite special and would be a fine addition to my ranks." He gazed into her eyes for a moment and then smiled, "Oh, how is it you do not know? The ones I saw were so clear. So precise." The terrifying figure began to circle her slowly.

"What that you saw?"

"Your dreams, my dear Mrs. Potter. Or should I say, your prophecies?"

"Prophecies? I have no prophecies."

"You are a Seer. Surely you knew that."

"I'm not a Seer!" she cried.

"Did you not wonder why I didn't kill you in Hogsmeade? It was because while probing your mind I found the most curious dreams. Some of them I knew had come true…some have come true since. Others are still waiting their turn. You will join my ranks, or you will die. It is quite simple," he said, stopping once more in front of her

"You may as well kill me now because I will never join you!"

"Ah, such bravery. Such loyalty. I see why you were in Gryffindor. But, I wonder, would you join if I told you we had your husband?"

Her breath caught in her throat, "If I join you it would be betraying him. I would rather die that do that."

He smiled maliciously. "Really? Perhaps, a taste of pain will cause you to change your mind. _Crucio_!"

She fell to the ground writhing and screaming in pain. He held the curse on her for an unusually long amount of time; when it finally lifted she lay on her stomach, retching, to weak to rise.

"Torture me…all you want… I will never…join you," she gasped out.

"Then you will tell me what the Order is planning. What the Muggle loving fool Albus Dumbledore has found out about me."

"I don't know."

He subjected her to the _Cruciatus_ curse several more times until she lay, barely conscious, on the floor. Still she would not speak and though he tried he could not break into her mind anymore.

"You will not give them up to me?"

"No," Lily whispered, throat sore and hoarse from screaming.

"Nor will you join me?"

"Never. My allegiance was sworn long ago."

"To the wrong side," he hissed. "Pity you throw off the Imperius curse so well. You really would have been a lovely addition." At her raised eyebrows he elaborated. "I tried to Imperius you the night in Hogsmeade, you threw it off without a glance. I don't even think you realized it. The only thing left for you is death."

"You will die by the very hand you seek to destroy," she whispered.

"I have different views on the matter. Goodbye Mrs. Potter. Regulus, finish up."

She watched, blinking through the gray spots dancing across her vision, as he swept out of the room. A tall, thin young man stepped out of the shadows where he had been hiding. Her last thoughts before the gray spots covered her eyes completely and everything faded to black were, "_Where is Remus?"_

* * *

Regulus strode quickly out into the yard and watched for a moment as the house crackled with the sound of spreading flames. He tucked Lily's wand into his pocket and pointed his own at the sky, whispering, "_Morsmorde_!" He watched as the giant green skull and serpent burst from the end of his wand and hovered over the house. "_What have I done_?" he thought, remorse shooting through his body.

Suddenly there was a loud crack behind him and he spun around to see two men appear on the lawn. Sirius and Regulus locked gazes as James stared in horror at the Mark over the house.

Sirius stalked toward Regulus and yelled, "What did you do?"

James stood in mute disbelief and listened as Regulus said, "What I had to, more or less. Voldemort came to recruit the woman, she refused him, even under threat of her death, and his," he said, gesturing at James. "Even when she was tortured; she refused to give up the Order as well. I did not finish what he started, brother; I could not bring myself to kill an innocent, wandless woman. Hurry, while there is still time. She was alive when I set the house ablaze."

At these words James took off running, screaming wildly for Lily. He dove through a broken window and vanished among the smoke and flames.

"You set it on fire with her alive?" Sirius asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"Yes," Regulus replied.

"You couldn't bear to kill her outright but you could roast her to death?" he screamed.

"I hoped some of you would come save her."

"Why didn't you save her yourself, you spineless bastard?" Sirius hissed.

"He would know. I will not die for her, for she is nothing to me."

"Then why didn't you kill her?"

"She is something to you."

"But _I _am nothing to you. You are no relation of mine, Regulus Black!" Sirius said.

"You are my relation, brother. Even though we have chosen different paths we are still brothers."

"Did you kill Remus to get to her? You spilled the blood of one, why not both?"

"There was no one in the house but the woman. Now go save your friends…please." Regulus threw Lily's wand to Sirius and with a turn and a crack was gone.

Sirius cast several spells at the house but nothing would slow or stop the fire. He could neither hear nor see James now and, throwing off his cloak, leapt through a place where a window once was to try and get them out.

* * *

James fought his way through the smoke and flames, gasping and coughing as he went. He screamed Lily's name when he had enough breath and listened for her when he didn't. Dropping to his knees, the frightened man began to crawl through the charred and burning wreckage. He made his way into the bedroom, feeling along blindly now, and was rewarded when his hand hit something soft and warm. His eyes were watering so badly that he could barely see, but he managed to clear them enough to see that what he found was indeed Lily. Her eyes were barely open and she didn't respond when he called her name.

He lifted her and stood carefully, not even noticing the embers that were raining down, singeing his hair and burning through his robes. He stumbled around, trying to find the way out; suddenly with a great creaking the roof began falling in around him. He cried out as flaming pieces of wood struck him and tried to protect Lily as much as he could. James stood there, turning in circles, utterly bewildered as to which way to go. Everywhere he looked great orange flames leapt and danced.

Suddenly Sirius was there, grabbing him by the arm, and urging him to hurry through the flames. Sirius waved his wand and a hole blasted in the side of the house. He leapt out and dragged James and Lily out behind him. Just as they collapsed on the grass several yards away the house gave a creaking roar and fell in on itself.

They lay there gasping for breath for a moment, and then James said hoarsely, "Lily!" He sat up, pulling her into his lap and shook her, "Lily, wake up!" Sirius grabbed her wrist and felt for a pulse.

"She's alive. _Rennervate_!" Lily stirred weakly, blinking up at them.

"James?" she whispered.

"I'm here, right here." He smoothed the hair gently away from her burned and blackened face.

"I didn't tell him anything James, I promise. I didn't betray you," she said, voice so soft he could barely hear her.

"I know, baby, I know."

"I swear I didn't say a word."

"Hush, Lily, I know you didn't."

"We need to get her to St. Mungo's, James," Sirius said.

"No, it's too risky. We can patch her up at your place," James replied.

"Where's Remus?" Lily whispered.

"I don't know," Sirius replied, "But when I find out…"

Just then there was a crack and Remus appeared a few feet from them. He gaped at the Mark, the burning rubble that was once a house and then his eyes fell on the group that was huddled on the ground.

"Oh…my…God…" he breathed.

"Where were you?" James screamed as he leapt to his feet. "You were supposed to protect her!"

"I had to…to go…I'm sorry," Remus said, his eyes darting between the two men who both had their wands pointed at him.

"James…please…" Lily tried to sit up but fell back with a moan. He crouched down beside her and picked her up.

"We'll deal with you later. Sirius, come on." Sirius grabbed James' arm and they turned and vanished with a crack, leaving Remus standing, bewildered, on the lawn.

* * *

Sirius helped James carry Lily through the door and lay her on the sofa that had seen so much of them. She was muttering softly and James just managed to catch snatches of it as Sirius gathered his healing supplies.

"Voldemort…oh God…Voldemort…didn't say…didn't say…" she muttered.

"Shh, Lily, it's all right now. You're safe."

"Said I'm a Seer…not…not…can't be. Dreams…just dreams…" she gasped, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Sirius returned and they gave her a potion to clear her airways of smoke and dabbed Essence of Dittany on the burns on her face and arms. He then gave her another potion to ease her pain and, hopefully, help her sleep. James carried her into the spare bedroom and once she was resting comfortably he returned to the living room to tend his own wounds.

"Thanks, Sirius."

"For?"

"Saving us. We would have both died in there if you hadn't of pulled us out."

"Well it's lucky I was there then. Go back to your wife, Prongs," Sirius said, lounging back on the sofa.

James closed the bedroom door behind him, changed clothes, and slipped into bed beside his wife, wrapping his arms around her. _"Seer, she can't be a Seer," _he thought. _"But then why did Voldemort think she was? Why was he so determined to have her or keep or from the other side?" _His mind replied. "_I don't know, and I don't need to. All I need to do is trust Lily and be there for her," _he decided quietly.

She jolted awake then, looking puzzled but smiling softly.

"Lil? Something wrong?"

"No," she whispered. "I just had a dream is all." She slowly turned and snuggled up against him.

"What about?" James asked.

"You were there. We were in a Sirius' flat. We were lying on the sofa together and you kept rubbing my stomach. Then the dream changed and I was holding a baby, our baby," she said sleepily.

"Well, it's good that you had a happy dream for once," he said, a bit uneasy.

"Yes, yes it was," she sighed as she drifted into an untroubled, dreamless sleep.


End file.
